I’ve gone through phases in my life where I’ve liked myself and my decisions,
And others where I haven’t.
I am coming out of one of those periods now, and it’s not always easy learning to like yourself again after you’ve made mistakes and decisions you wish you would have done differently.
But there is an acceptance that has to happen as you indicate at the end of your post. Sometimes you’ll get it right, sometimes you won’t. But you can always try again.
Good thoughts Nathan! I hear you. I’m kind of feeling the same way now which is part of why I wrote it. Appreciate the feedback! I’m glad you liked the essay.
Thanks for the kind words Aaqiel! You put it such a good way. Permission is a very different feeling from improvement. It might even be more important and it’s definitely harder.
I think the idea of liking yourself more is key.
I’ve gone through phases in my life where I’ve liked myself and my decisions,
And others where I haven’t.
I am coming out of one of those periods now, and it’s not always easy learning to like yourself again after you’ve made mistakes and decisions you wish you would have done differently.
But there is an acceptance that has to happen as you indicate at the end of your post. Sometimes you’ll get it right, sometimes you won’t. But you can always try again.
Good thoughts Nathan! I hear you. I’m kind of feeling the same way now which is part of why I wrote it. Appreciate the feedback! I’m glad you liked the essay.
Thanks for this post Colin!
This post reminds me that the real work isn’t fixing who you are.
It’s learning how to sit with yourself without running away.
You weren’t trying to become someone new.
You were trying to stop fighting who you already were.
And that’s why the garden matters.
That’s why the list matters.
It wasn’t about improvement.
It was about permission.
Permission to eat what you like, go where you want, and be alone without feeling guilty.
Living with yourself is the hardest thing.
But once you stop arguing with who you are?
Life just becomes…better.
Thanks for the kind words Aaqiel! You put it such a good way. Permission is a very different feeling from improvement. It might even be more important and it’s definitely harder.
It’s harder because there’s nowhere to hide.
Improvement gives excuses.
But permission demands honesty.
But when you allow yourself to exist?
Life begins to soften up and it stops feeling like “work.”