Love it. Some have a growth mentality, others fixed. Sometimes we're not as good as we think we are. But if experience is allowed to teach us and not define us, good things happen.
Great post. Leading is a very difficult job and you can't given how different we all are, it's unlikely that you'll click with everyone. 23 is so young to lead as well! I think we have to be open to the fact that we're not mind readers and we're all imperfect so our job is to learn and grow and take on any feedback we can.
thanks for this. I remember being a boss at such a young age, building an organisation and being so bad at it as well. I wasn't really a leader i think i wasn't firm at all.
I left BUT its been 13 years and the person i left to run it is doing a great job
Both of those scenarios sound so familiar. I become a support staff team lead and then later a manager for a large law firm. I had to manage and supervise people who were much older than me and ask them to do tasks that they did not find enjoyable. For a long time I thought it was my job to make sure everyone who worked on my team was happy and thriving. But I realized that I needed to provide the resources and tools, but I was not responsible for peoples state of mind. In my work place, being a leader is all about balancing the work load and personalities as best as I can. I've since moved on from management, but it was such a formative experience. Now I'm a homeschool mom, which seems to be a whole different ball of wax.
This was an engaging post that really resonated with me. Thank you for your sharing!
I’m really glad it resonated with you Autumn! It’s a tough spot to be in. I think leaders are somewhat responsible for protecting the wellbeing of their staff. But it’s hard to admit that you can’t control everything and you can’t make an unhappy employee happy. That’s cool that you’re homeschooling! I was homeschooled all but a couple years, and this online education program mostly served homeschoolers.
Thank you Harriet! Yeah it was hard to lead at such a young age! I sometimes wish I could have done it differently with the knowledge I have now. But I definitely learned a lot in the process!
I’ve known people close to me who’ve been unhappy in their jobs for some time and have dealt with it in various ways. For some, as you’ve noted, fear of conflict can be harder, and I suspect perhaps, also fear of change, and what might be on the other side. What you say about giving someone ownership through building and developing something sounds really important.
I left my job when the job description changed without my being on board. The previous role was a great fit for very specific reasons, and the new role was a big stressor. I was really too young to be able to express my values and needs at that point (and I’ve been freelance ever since). Non violent communication (NVC) is a fantastic resource I’ve learned about recently, for conflict resolution in work, and in relationships.
Great post Colin!
And from my own experience...
The real issue isn't that leaders don't care.
They do.
It's that they wait too long.
They think there's time.
They think the person will speak up when they're ready.
But here's what happens when you wait...
People stop talking.
They plan their exit in silence.
And you find out when it's too late.
The fix isn't about being a perfect boss.
It's about asking sooner.
And asking differently.
Dont ask... "how's everything going?"
Ask... "what's one thing I could change that would make this better for you?"
Good thoughts! I really like the distinction between asking how things are going and asking how you can make things better. Glad you liked the post!
Love it. Some have a growth mentality, others fixed. Sometimes we're not as good as we think we are. But if experience is allowed to teach us and not define us, good things happen.
Glad you enjoyed the essay! It was helpful for me to write it. It’s definitely hard being a leader and realizing you’re not good at everything
Great post. Leading is a very difficult job and you can't given how different we all are, it's unlikely that you'll click with everyone. 23 is so young to lead as well! I think we have to be open to the fact that we're not mind readers and we're all imperfect so our job is to learn and grow and take on any feedback we can.
thanks for this. I remember being a boss at such a young age, building an organisation and being so bad at it as well. I wasn't really a leader i think i wasn't firm at all.
I left BUT its been 13 years and the person i left to run it is doing a great job
Thanks for sharing! I’m glad it wasn’t just me! It’s such a hard thing to do, but I’m also grateful to go through it and learn so much.
Both of those scenarios sound so familiar. I become a support staff team lead and then later a manager for a large law firm. I had to manage and supervise people who were much older than me and ask them to do tasks that they did not find enjoyable. For a long time I thought it was my job to make sure everyone who worked on my team was happy and thriving. But I realized that I needed to provide the resources and tools, but I was not responsible for peoples state of mind. In my work place, being a leader is all about balancing the work load and personalities as best as I can. I've since moved on from management, but it was such a formative experience. Now I'm a homeschool mom, which seems to be a whole different ball of wax.
This was an engaging post that really resonated with me. Thank you for your sharing!
I’m really glad it resonated with you Autumn! It’s a tough spot to be in. I think leaders are somewhat responsible for protecting the wellbeing of their staff. But it’s hard to admit that you can’t control everything and you can’t make an unhappy employee happy. That’s cool that you’re homeschooling! I was homeschooled all but a couple years, and this online education program mostly served homeschoolers.
Thank you Harriet! Yeah it was hard to lead at such a young age! I sometimes wish I could have done it differently with the knowledge I have now. But I definitely learned a lot in the process!
I really enjoyed reading this.
I’ve known people close to me who’ve been unhappy in their jobs for some time and have dealt with it in various ways. For some, as you’ve noted, fear of conflict can be harder, and I suspect perhaps, also fear of change, and what might be on the other side. What you say about giving someone ownership through building and developing something sounds really important.
I left my job when the job description changed without my being on board. The previous role was a great fit for very specific reasons, and the new role was a big stressor. I was really too young to be able to express my values and needs at that point (and I’ve been freelance ever since). Non violent communication (NVC) is a fantastic resource I’ve learned about recently, for conflict resolution in work, and in relationships.
Thanks so much! I’m really glad it resonated with you. Sounds like a tough situation, but yeah it’s hard to know what to do when you’re young.