15 Comments
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Edgar Huitema, PhD's avatar

Love this post. Sadly, for me, it is imaginary people that don't like what I do. or assumptions about who does and who doesn't. Drives me up the wall at times. Thanks for sharing this!

Colin Black's avatar

I totally hear you! I’m often the same way. My biggest critics are imaginary ones in my head. Glad it resonated with you!

Edgar Huitema, PhD's avatar

oh yes, i have a lot to say about imaginary figures in my head and how they have been (un) helpful.

Dead Girl Walking's avatar

‘Worse yet, how much I’ve lived for the opinions of people who don’t even like me’ ….these words - a thousand times YES! That’s how I’ve spent so much of my life - as I get older - wiser (I hope) these feelings still exist within me - but I am slowly removing them - like a lifetimes worth of poison ivy growing my very being - it is a slow process - but a worthy one - cos NO ONE CARES - and that’s a great feeling

Colin Black's avatar

Yeah it’s such a hard thing to remember! And it feels so awful when you realize you’re living for the approval of people you know don’t like you. Really glad the piece resonated with you!

Ilham ✨'s avatar

I loved the powerful sincerity of this part: "I like to think I don’t care what people think. The truth is, I care a lot."

And all the advice in this piece is spot on. Plus, nobody's even thinking of us as much as we imagine.

Colin Black's avatar

Thanks for the kind words! I’m so glad you liked the essay!

Angela Human's avatar

What a great take on this. It is so hard, in life in general, to not try to “please” everyone so you are liked. The concept you layout above very eloquently … I try to apply it daily. Thank you for sharing!

Colin Black's avatar

Thanks so much for the kind words! It’s definitely hard to do. I’m not very good at it yet!

Willie Deutsch's avatar

Reminds me of a friend who really wanted to be in with the cool kids. I just always knew I wasn’t one of them so didn’t waste time on them if they didn’t want me.

Colin Black's avatar

So true, Willie! I think that’s a lesson we all need to learn at some point in life, but it’s definitely taken me awhile.

Annette's avatar

This really resonated with me!

Colin Black's avatar

Thank you, Annette! I’m glad you found it helpful!

RD's avatar

Great Post Colin!

Colin Black's avatar

Thank you! I really appreciate it!